My Dave...

has been gone a year. It has been a year since I saw his face, kissed his lips, and held his hands. It has been longer since I heard his boisterous laugh, saw him enjoy life to the fullest(which was amazing to see!) and hold his sons(his best accomplishments in life). It has been longer than a year since I have lost my best friend. He was gone long before he left his battered earthly body. That was one of the hardest things to watch, him wither away. He was one of the strongest men that I knew, one that was filled with life, and to see those things stripped from him was unbearable.

I still remember one of Dave's final conversations with me. I think I have done well at what he asked of me. He didn't want me to stop living and loving life. He didn't want to be my end point. He didn't want me to curl up forever and pull the blankets over my head.(an inside joke between Dave and I) He told me to rely on God for strength and that he would always be with me. He was so very true. God had given me strength and blessed beyond belief. Dave is still with me, how could he not when I have his 2 beautiful boys looking at me.

There are times that I am weak, there are times that I cry, there are times that I want so desperately to talk to him and hear his voice. I don't believe that these feelings will ever leave. They are part of losing someone so important. But I feel and believe that it is okay to have these moments. You are not moving forward, you are not holding onto the past. I feel that it is honouring the memory of someone who was important to you. I find these times come in moments that I want to share with the people that matter most.